I love my mooncup. I love mooncup. I want to work for mooncup who seem to eat a lot of cake in Brighton and chat about it on facebook.
I am evangelical about the mooncup, I admit. It changed my life. I have been plagued by heavy, painful periods since I was eleven. They have got progressively (exponentially?) worse as I’ve got older. I have had numerous incidents of unexpected bleeding and embarrassing leaking. I must have spend an absolute fortune on tampons and towels (they were still charging VAT on them until relatively recently, before realising they maybe weren’t a *luxury* product), many of which may well have ended up on Portobello beach.
So I spent about £20 on a mooncup. It arrived in a plain brown envelope, this was a while ago before it was so de rigeur. It sat in a drawer for some time. The first time I wore it, I didn’t put it in properly and it filled up so quickly that within a couple of hours, I was spongeing down my legs and my cream sofa. The first time I put it in properly, I hadn’t read the instructions fully and when I went to take it out I didn’t release the vacuum and almost removed my uterus. I worried a lot about it getting stuck/falling out. I have had incidents in toilets with no sink and a lot of gloopy blood and one ply of scratchy toilet paper left. I have merrily emptied it into a toilet that then didn’t flush. I have smelled it. I have purchased some milton sterilising tablets.
So I get it, I really do. But if one more person says to me, “But it’s so gross! I don’t want to have to deal with that/see all of that!” then I may have to punch them in the vagina that they don’t seem to realise they have.
If you menstruate, you menstruate. YOU BLEED FROM YOUR VAGINA EVERY MONTH. YOU CAN’T PRETEND YOU DON’T. So woman up, stop wasting your money and adding to landfill, and embrace the mooncup.
I’m telling you, it’s amazing.